A Major Bump in Kia's Road

Kia is now 2 weeks post-op and seems to be doing well. Me, however? I'm stressed out to the max. I've been awake since 5 am and even vomited once from my stomach being all up in knots. Money is a major stressor for me and talking about it will instantly put me in a bad mood for at least the rest of the day. Yesterday was no exception. Kia went in to VIMP for her 2-week check up. I got off work at 1 so I was able to come home and feed everybody lunch before heading out to Manassas in the mid-afternoon, holiday weekend rush hour traffic. It took me over an hour to get there, making me slightly late for her appointment. A couple weird things happened on the way there, too: I stopped by the rental office after work to give them my rent check and thought I smelled something funny coming from my car. It almost smelled like either cleaning fluid or fresh leather. I thought maybe it was something in the parking lot. But, I smelled it again on my way out to Manassas, too, and then again on the way back. I have no idea what it is, but any unusual smell that comes from your car is unnerving, especially when you know you have no money to have it checked out and would be screwed if your car died on the road because of it. The other thing that happened was Kia started panting pretty hard on the way there. I NEVER run the air conditioner in my car because it's just too expensive to waste gas on something like that, but I felt sorry for her, so I rolled up the windows and turned it on. She stopped panting, but my engine started revving up and down and my car would lurch forward every time it did. I had to hold down the brake pedal extra hard to keep it from driving me into the car in front of me. Finally, I turned it back off because I couldn't take it anymore. Not sure what's causing it, but it's yet another thing I should probably have looked at, if it can wait until I have the money for it (if I ever do).

At Kia's appointment, they examined her and found she appears to be doing as well as can be expected and had gained back a little under half a pound. I was hoping she'd gain more, but they said sometimes IBD can block the absorption of nutrients, although the steroids should help with that. They said I can always feed her more food, but those cans are $2.39 each and I just don't have the money for that. They gave me instructions to begin tapering her off the prednisolone (thank God!). Instead of 10 mgs a day, I'll be giving her 7.5 then eventually 5 and then possibly 5 every other day until she's completely off of it. I only have to give her the Famotidine for 2 more weeks, too, then I can stop it. So, that will be one less pill to crush up. She still needs to eat her special food for at least 2-4 more weeks before I can attempt her old (less expensive) food again. It can even take up to 4 months for a cat's digestive system to "forget" the old food that was causing the inflammatory response. Since the results of the type test weren't back yet, all of this could possibly change, depending on what they are. They said they're expecting them sometime next week. Overall, things appear to be going as well as they could be for a cat with her diagnosis. They said they wanted to see her again in 2 more weeks for another check up and to repeat some blood work, to make sure the steroids weren't making her develop any unpleasant side effects (e.g. diabetes or kidney disease).

I went to the front desk to check out and was told the total charge for today would be $113.20. I told them I'd been going through HSFC for all my care but they said that this visit had not been authorized by them. I was like, "What do you mean? All my other vet visits had been authorized." She told me that, since they do not work directly with HSFC, they don't call them to authorize the visits ahead of time like Caring Hands had done. They had only been given authorization for the 2 visits I'd had so far. It was almost 6:00 so the HSFC wasn't open for me to call them right then to straighten this out. They said I could call them on Tuesday and see if they'd retroactively cover it, but I would have to pay something on it today. Well, they were saying I owed them $113.20 and I only had $50 in my checking account until next Friday. If I wrote them a check, it would just bounce right back. She told me I could apply for Care Credit, but I said I already have and was rejected. I have no credit cards, savings account, or anything extra stored under my mattress. Whatever I have in checking is literally all I have. They kept saying, "Well, sorry but we don't DO payment plans." Seriously, how can these places not do payment plans when their services cost so much?!

I stood there for a while, fighting back tears and trying to make them understand that, I'm sorry but I just cannot pay for it today. If I had known the visit wouldn't be covered, I wouldn't have scheduled it. I still owe the emergency room $70 for my ER visit back in July and will probably get sent to collections if I don't pay on it soon. Plus I still owe $25 to my ENT (and am supposed to pay another co-pay at my next voice therapy appointment), plus I have to go see my regular doctor before they'll refill my blood pressure medicine, plus my car is several months past due for an oil change, plus all those weird things that happened with it on the way down, plus I haven't had a haircut since February simply because I haven't had the money, plus all my other bills that are normally due, and of course I have to find a new bank before my current one starts charging a monthly fee for checking accounts. It just never stops! Someone always has to have another cut of my money even though I cannot possibly spare another dime. I have nothing left over for anything fun like trips to Europe, outdoor adventures, or massages and manis/pedis.  The amount I'm forced to live on every month is less than what most people in D.C. pay in rent. So, either they make a helluva lot more than I do, or they just have fewer bills to pay, or both.

Well, she offered me the option of signing a statement authorizing them to charge the amount to my debit card at a later date. But, I told her I hate authorizing any sort of automatic withdrawals because I just never know if the money is going to be there. She said I would have to pay it within a month, but that would make it no later than Oct. 3, and the first part of every month is bad for me because I always spend the vast majority of my paycheck on rent. The earliest I could conceivably pay it would be Oct. 7 because that's when I'll get an extra pay period where no major bills are due. I was planning on getting my car work done, getting a haircut, renewing Kirby's yearly HomeAgain membership, and paying my yearly car tax during that period. But, it looks like now I'll be paying vet bills instead. If I have to pay for another visit plus blood work in 2 more weeks, then I just can't do it. I'll simply have to take my chances on her recovering on her own with no veterinary supervision. If the test results come back showing lymphoma, then I guess she'll only have a couple more months to live and I'll have to live with the fact that my cat died unnecessarily simply because I'm too poor to pay for her care.

In the end, I signed the statement authorizing them to charge my debit card on Oct. 7 but I doubt I'll even be able to afford it then. I plan to email Janice on Tuesday to see what the future of Kia's care looks like, but I'm not feeling very optimistic at all. That whole exchange pretty much ruined my entire weekend. I called my mom on my way home just to vent my frustrations. I feel like nobody understands just how dire my financial situation is right now and even if they did, they wouldn't care. I'm sure I'm not the only person with this problem, but it certainly feels like it (especially when I read all those Facebook posts about people going shopping, taking exotic vacations, and buying all sorts or luxury items). And then there's the whole separate issue of that douchenozzle from M&T bank accusing me of causing damage to his car (which I did NOT!!) and forcing me to report it to my insurance company, thinking they would actually go to bat for me and put a-holes like him in his place, but instead they just cut him a nice, fat check and went on with their next case (after raising my monthly rates, of course). Basically, they just sponsored a night out at the nearest rooftop bar for him and his friends. It pisses me off so much that there are people like him in this world who just act like bullies and expect people to give them their way. Then there are people like me who are honest and work hard for every cent they earn but can't even afford to keep their pets alive. What the hell is wrong with the world? When does good actually triumph over evil? Will people ever understand (or care) that their actions DO affect others? Will there ever come a day when I can afford more than just the bare essentials? I'm starting to seriously doubt it.  I used to be optimistic that things would turn around for me one day, but that day never happened so I've had to take some pretty drastic measures just to survive. I'm tired of keeping my hopes up only to be disappointed. I'm so broke, I can't even afford optimism anymore.